My wife has a terrible temper

Your life may depend on what you decide to do

Dear Loveawake: I am a 34 year old male who has received your column for the last 3 years. I've always wanted to write to you but never had the guts. It's gotten so bad that I don't know who else to turn to and I am hoping you can give me some guidance. I am embarrassed to say that my wife has a terrible temper and beats me up. I always see TV shows about domestic violence to women but I have never seen one on men. I'm not sure if anyone has ever experienced what I am going through but I don't think I can take much more of this. I'm too embarrassed to tell any of my friends or family because I know they would laugh at me and think I was a wimp. Every time my wife and I get into an argument, she completely loses her temper and starts slapping me, kicking me, and then it escalates into throwing dishes or whatever else she can get a hold of. I have never hit a woman in my life because it's not the way I was raised. I'm no angel but I don't deserve to be treated like this. She's talking about having kids and I can't imagine a child dealing with her temper. Please help. - Carl

Dear Carl: First of all, you are not alone. The first thing you must do is gather as much information as you can about your situation. Thank goodness we have the Internet because all the information you'll ever want is there. According to a site called www.batteredmen.com there are 850,000 men who are battered each year. My advice for you would be the same as it would be to a woman who was being abused. You need to remove yourself from this situation and not come back until she agrees to get help. Your wife needs to recognize that she has a serious problem and it is not going to go away without some professional help. I don't think she'll come to that realization until you leave and she realizes that she is going to lose you. A woman who abuses her husband will abuse her children as well. You are 100% correct in not wanting to put a child in this dangerous environment. I'm very proud of you asking for help and I know that my subscribers will have words of encouragement for you. Please call your a local domestic violence hot line in your area and try and see a counselor. Many shelters now are taking calls from men as well. At the very least, the next time this happens, call 911 and file a police report. If you have to, get a restraining order. I don't think for one minute that this is a laughing matter. Your life may depend on what you decide to do! - Loveawake

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